Invasion of the Body Snatchers
Following the events of ex-class actor Robert Langdon's chase through Rome armed with nothing but a MacGuffin and an irrelevant plot device, the Roman and Vatican City police force are once again hit with a conspiracy worthy of another episode of Dan Brown's True Judeo-Christian Holy Ghost Stories.
The Man Utd squad was reportedly to have gone missing the night before the game before reappearing at the hotel 4 hours later. At the press conference after the Champions League Final, Capt. Nico Joe Joe Machiavelli was reluctant to release much information to the press, saying only,"right now, our only clue remains that of Man Utd's 3.7% possession."
Rumours are that Mavericks FC, a club currently residing in the far corners of civilization in an area called Bedok Green, are somehow involved. A Mavericks FC spokesperson, who only wanted to be known as an helicopter lover, spoke to our paper saying, "These allegations are completely untrue. The team has proven in previous matches that they are well capable of getting anywhere from 5 - 7% amounts of possession in a football match. These attacks are merely ploys used by the Vatican police to draw us out of our jungled shithole to watch their movies of contrived conspiracies with high production value. We Shall Not Be Moved! Helicopter !"
Other suspects include Alan Shearer.
- TribalBollox.com
The Man Utd squad was reportedly to have gone missing the night before the game before reappearing at the hotel 4 hours later. At the press conference after the Champions League Final, Capt. Nico Joe Joe Machiavelli was reluctant to release much information to the press, saying only,"right now, our only clue remains that of Man Utd's 3.7% possession."
Rumours are that Mavericks FC, a club currently residing in the far corners of civilization in an area called Bedok Green, are somehow involved. A Mavericks FC spokesperson, who only wanted to be known as an helicopter lover, spoke to our paper saying, "These allegations are completely untrue. The team has proven in previous matches that they are well capable of getting anywhere from 5 - 7% amounts of possession in a football match. These attacks are merely ploys used by the Vatican police to draw us out of our jungled shithole to watch their movies of contrived conspiracies with high production value. We Shall Not Be Moved! Helicopter !"
Other suspects include Alan Shearer.
- TribalBollox.com
posted by The Outsider at
6:20 PM
